The Art of Receiving

“It’s sooooo hard!” Sabrena exclaimed to her best friend. “Almost as hard as

asking.”

”Caw, no!” Sam retorted. They laughed. “Not that bad,” Sam added.

“I feel like such a heel sometimes,” Sabrena continued. “Where do you think

it comes from?”

“I don’t know, girl, I truly don’t—though I guess it dates back to childhood.”

Sam paused. “All I know is that in my house everything was give to get or if you get

you’d better give.”

“Me, too,” Sabrena agreed. “I remember going to Grandma’s at Christmas to

find a mountain of toys only to be shooed away from hanging out with the

adults—as if the toys were supposed to buy our silence or good behavior.   It’s no

wonder I dislike holidays.”

“I hear you.  Me, too. And then we learned the pattern and started down the

same track.” Sam smiled.  “My grandmother lived next door and I only went over

there so that I could walk the dog and collect the quarter that I knew she would

give me. Ridiculous.”

“My husband, Rob, calls it transactional relationshipping and he’s right.”

Sabrena sighed. “He’ll bring me a bouquet of flowers and the first thing that comes

to my mind is: ‘What does he want?’ Sometimes, I’ll even say it.”

“Big mistake,” Sam piped in.

“Yeah—and if I don’t say it, I at least think it.” Sabrena shook her head.

“It’s gross—makes me feel dirty.” 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Very few people have worked this one out.

That’s why so many of us do charity work.  If we figure out how to give, maybe we’ll

understand receiving.”

“I don’t know, Sam.  Even that’s weird.  Who gets most prestigious award,

who collects the accolades, who has the library or the hallway or the hospital wing

named after them.” Sabrena paused and smirked. “Where’s the purity in it all?

We’d be better off to go down to the soup kitchen and serve meals until they took

us for granted.  Then we’d at least find out if we had the power to unconditionally

keep giving.  Receiving?  Forget it.  No clue.”

“What if we made it into a game?” Sam asked with a twinkle. “What if we

randomly shocked friends and loved ones with unexpected gifts? If we like their

response, we ask them how they got to that place—with no expectation.”

“How would we judge that?” Sabrena frowned.

“We can’t—and perhaps that’s half the battle.” Sam put her finger on her

lips. “Perhaps it’s much more organic—more of an intuition or an inner feeling.”

“It’s worth a try,” Sabrena acknowledged.

“It would certainly be fun,” Sam posited. “The art of receiving, by Sab and

Sam.  It has a certain ring to it.”

They laughed for the second time.

“The world is our oyster—and our lab,” Sabrena giggled.

“Full of hard shells and pearls,” Sam chimed in.

“Let’s go give ‘em,” Sabrena cooed.

“Yeah,” Sam echoed. “Let’s go give ‘em.”